Celtic Heroes

Thank you Lady Leisa for giving me a second chance. I do take my work very seriously and would be delighted to wash another of your brassieres. I will of course handle it most carefully this time, my fingers and thumbs slowly and gently rubbing the finest of soaps deep into your Ladyship's cups

You... You... You... You disgusting creature! Your obsessed with S3X!!! OTM lock this!!!! Kidz shouldnt be reading this!!!! Youve lost my respect you... You... You... MONSTER!!!! :-o :O :0

Relax, most ppl don't even know what that means who are not of the right age. so cool it.

Sir IAYDad, Having been scolded by Lady Keri for ruining Lady Leisa's sparkly brasserie by using a scrubbing brush on it, I was most touched that I should be given a second chance as it were. I simply wrote a description of how gently I intended to wash the Lady's next brassiere, so as to reassure her it would be completely hand washed, without employing other implements. If you sir, most wilfully and scurrilously choose to mis interpret my most innocence use of language and thus sir, in the process debase my meaning, then it is you sir who have 'sex on the brain' .

As to Master Cysero consulting a Google dictionary so as to comprehend my somewhat 16th century use of the English language, I am most honoured that In effect I am assisting the young gentleman with his understanding of this most ancient and noble language.

I am Sir, most faithfully yours,

Zapper Elgin Boarcast

PS A new and strange fruit called 'Bananas' has arrived on a ship that has come from the sea beyond the sea my Ladyships. I have taken the liberty of leaving what is termed a 'bunch' of these in your Ladyships private kitchens. I took one to show cook in the main, Castle kitchen and she discovered the outer skin may be peeled off. This had quite a strange affect on my imagination. I am thinking served whole, with two meringues either side of its base and some cream squirted at the other end of the banana, might make a very pleasurable dessert for my Ladyships?

Oh dear... Zapper you delinquent! You must not eat bananas with meringue, tis' illogical for thou. Why don't you slither up to your room... I will call Sir Voldemort to join our feast this afternoon. Keri, Aernak & all others, will be a pleasure to have your arrival.

P.S. Wash my favorite wig, tis' covered in dog saliva. My wretched dogs...

Zapper Elgin Boarcast!

Not only have you soiled my turquoise leggings and destroyed Lady Leisa's sparkly brassiere but it now seems that every last undergarment in this castle has been stained blue. For your own sake I do hope you have a satisfactory explanation for this. I am dismissing you from laundry duty until further notice.
Regards,
Lady Blue

Dear Lady Blue, I was most upset to see your message regarding the unfortunate mishaps I have had with most of your Ladyships under garments. I have apologised most humbly before about this, I have even grovelled at my feet. At one point Lady Aernak dragged me the entire length of the grand garden pathway at the back of the castle (as I clung to the train of her vast, silk dress, weeping and wailing), begging her to let me have one final chance of redeeming myself, (following the ruination of one her gussets, which was sadly destroyed by intense heat when I left a pair of her panties too close to the banqueting hall fire). She would have none of it and told me to, 'Go drown yourself in the swamp you useless fker'. I have to say, I was some what taken aback at this! Lady Leisa brought me a ray of hope, saying she was pleased with my latest attempt at hand washing another of her sparkly bras. As to Lady Keri, as yet she has remained silent on her opinion of my laundry capabilities with regard to her 'personals'. I think madam, the reason so much of your own under garments have been returned looking blue in colour is because that was the colour they came in to begin with. I did notice your Ladyship appears to own mainly blue under garments, dresses and ball gowns too, and I assumed this must be because this colour held some significance to you, especially as it pertains to your own noble family name (your family crest being pure white and adorned with small blue stars).I believe your family motto is: An molior vir mos congruo ut quisquam?

I do hope this clears the matter up to your satisfaction my Lady, and I may continue to have the honour of being in your service.

I remain, your most humble and obedient servant,

Zapper Elgin Boarcast

PS I would be grateful if the unfortunate incident of the soiled turquoise outfit was no longer referred to. This item was purchased on your Ladyship's auction, and the gentleman it now belongs to did contact me to say he would be sending me a large dry cleaning bill. As this outfit is no longer under the domain of your Ladyship I feel any staining pertaining to it is a matter that should now rest solely between me and its new owner.

I do seem to recall mention that my "personals" always seem to be returned damp...however given the sad fate of Lady Aer's undergarments, I have not complained. Moist is better than burnt away, although she did model the gusset-less set for me and it was quite diverting.

I am not particularly pleased about the blue staining of many of my delicates and have noted that my favorite pink set now seems to have black ink stains as well. I shudder to think that my favorite negligee was used as a blotter!

I still contend that your "skills" (such as they are) would be better utilized in the capacity of jester and will be making mention of this to the King.

And I am still awaiting a sample of the cheese scones you prattle on about here. Terribly unfair, teasing a lady with such delicious descriptions and then leaving her wanting. Tsk.

My Lady Keri,

Your message has prompted my memory, and yes madam, I must confess that with regard to your pink, silk lingerie, it did indeed come into contact with my inky quill. I hasten to add my ladyship that I was in no way using your intimate lingerie as an ink blotter, but rather your lustrous panties were blown upon my desk, parchment and quill as I wrote out my cheese scone recipe for thy ladyship. It was a most warm afternoon, with a balmy sunlight filling my quarters within the castle loft (where I have once again been most fortunately permitted to take up residence).

Taking the opportunity to use the heat of the warm, Spring sunshine to air my Ladyship's panties, I opened my small window and laid them upon the sill (along with Ladies, Leisa, Blue and Aernak's silken lingerie). Alas, as I attended to writing out the cheese scone recipe a sudden gust of wind came forth, propelling thy Ladyship's lingerie with great force upon my inky quill. I have in fact yet to inform your fellow Ladyships that while your silk panties blew into my room, their under garments blew out-with the window sill, a large crow descending on a sparkly brassiere belonging to Lady Leisa, (where upon it flew to a near by tree and to my horror appeared to eat said brassiere). Lady Blue's 'Ravish Me' range of lingerie landed in the courtyard, only to be set upon by vagrants fighting over it and in the process ripping it to shreds. A pair of black stockings belonging to Lady Aernak landed on the Yuletide Father's face, causing him such excitement that a doctor had to be called.

Summing up, while your pink panties are indeed now deeply spotted with my ink stains Madam, at least you have the good fortune to still have them in your possession.

I might add your Ladyship that I did not realise when I undertook personal care of your Ladyships under garments the effect it would have upon my person. I can only say it excites my amorous propensities to a great degree, causing me a momentous struggle between attending to my duties while all manner of seductive thoughts encumber my mind.

I am madam, your most humble and obedient servant,

Zapper Elgin Boarcast