Celtic Heroes

Lol.

The next morning Ax was woken up by two sudden weights upon his stomach and the smell of hot coffee next to his face. The time that followed was pleasant. But Axsrefang ditched the two men as soon as he had an opportunity to sneak away. He was beginning to realize that he would never get anything really important done with those two around. He searched the castle until he found Maclir who was very drunk. Ax was very surprised as it was still very early. But he received his slurred out orders and marched out of the castle to go find the Seer of Highshore.
He found her up on the hill in the village where all the better-off folks had their houses and walked straight up to her. She was stumbling about and upon closer inspection; Ax saw that she too, was drunk.
“The people here must have an abnormally high tolerance for the stuff. If I drank from sunup to sundown I would be out cold”.
But he had seen no one slumped in the streets or in the confines of the castle though many were consuming large quantities of liquors.
“Who are you dat seeks meh, teh Seer?” mumbled a rather tired voice. Wait no.. dun tell meh. Her voiced had a rather goofy dialect. Nyah! Are you meh back scratcher, I told ya tuh be here nhour go. Why you be so late?”
“Ma’am I am most decidedly NOT your backscratcher, barked Ax rather irately. I’ve come from Maclir at the castle and I need directions to the tombs.”
“Oh hiya der sonny, I was just sayin dat we needed a new corpse patrol. Dey’m shouldn’t be walking if’n dey done kicked teh bucket. Well have yerself a look round and find me a couple mushrooms for ehem…stuffs snotillegal or nuffing just ya know, my uh… rheumatism? You can find dem round dat hill over yonder past teh curn field.”
Ax (we will call him that now I hate typing full name all the time) left for the field and the hill just past it. He was mumbling something about “friggin made-up illnesses” and “gonna chop her head off” when he heard her yell something about “Bane-ditts, the wunz dat’ll kill yer nstuffs”. Ax made a mental note of it and stalked off again. He was growing tired of all the weirdoes he kept running into. Reaching the field he started to walk through and something brushed past his leg. Ax yelped and something echoed him right back. There was a dog, foaming at the mouth and it came towards him with it’s teeth bared. Ax waited until it got within range and quickly kicked it in the throat. The wounded dog fell to the ground, struggling to breathe. Ax left it there and continued on to the hill. He spotted little red mushrooms peeking their heads above the morning dew tipped grass and bent down to swipe some into a small cloth bag. When he had about 3 he turned around and almost smacked into the girl standing behind him. She was dressed rather plainly and had a small knife held at her waist.
“Who are you and why are you picking a sacred shrooms?”
“I’m Ax. I’m here because some crazy hag has information that I need and won’t give it to me unless I get her these,” he said as he held up the bag.
“What information?” She cocked her head to the side.
“Stuff.” Ax said with a shrug.
“You must not take them, they are holy. They allow us to see things that others can’t.”
“Alright, well, I’m going to take them anyways”
The girl drew her knife and hissed at Ax. He drew his dagger and stepped forward one step. The girl looked at him, his size was impressive to be sure, he stood tall and solid. She inched backwards, snarled, and then lunged at him, leaping high into the air. Ax caught her by the throat midflight and brought her down to the ground hard. The air left her lungs in whooping rush, she fought for breath as Ax tightened his grip, crushing her windpipe. Feebly she clutched at his wrist, attempting to pry his hand away from her. But Ax was too strong, and soon her arms fell limp into the grass, her skin pale against the deep green. She wasn’t dead, just unconscious. Ax admired her build. She was thin and wiry but had muscle and her hair was a rich shade of midnight black. She had no armor, just the cloth clothing he had seen everyone wearing. Ax threw her over his shoulder and made his way back to the cackling hag in Highshore.



Sorry this one is so short and that I took a long time getting to it.