I can't really speak to the other servers in comparison with Lir, I have only ever played on Lir. I like it, have made a lot of great friends. There has been an uptick of drama and scamming lately, which kind of sucks, but it's not usual, so I imagine it will go back to normal. There are several very active clans, and and while there is a bit of rivalry, its pretty benign for the most part
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Lir's been pretty nice so far, we just have some people who aren't sure which clans to belong to. Clan rivalry is fun, although 20 emps at All-Seeing One isn't so fun, but emperors (emperrors lol) are dying out again I hear, with some of the higher level players moving to other clans.
People should choose a clan that they're comfortable with, that they can trust and be trusted in. I myself am loving Serenity at the moment. We have such cheerful players and a lovely leader who loves his coffee and donuts. It's always a treat in Serenity.
For Lir, it seems the forums are very inactive, but that doesn't quite reflect the number of players. The server is of a mediocre size, small enough for you to matter, but big enough for you to get what you need. If you're nice, you'll stand out. Reputation seems to go far here.
I'd say it's a nice server as long as you stick to the right people and you're not greedy. Definitely avoid the greedy clans, I won't name them here since I don't wanna start a fire war, but you might figure it out quickly. I can also name a few good clans, but I still shouldn't here, haha.
The drama will definitely settle, there's just a lot of big movements happening in the game right now to do with clans and the auction house and all that. But really, drama doesn't mean anything, it's just a game, and those people who dwell within that drama are ignorant. I know a lot of players who have clans that sought to escape the drama and have a healthy, functioning clan-style going on.
I like Lir, but I've only ever tried Lir from Android, so I can't say I can give any comparisons, besides my time in Epona back in 2011.