Celtic Heroes

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rant of a depressed person

#1
None of you have to read this, and i dont expect any of you to give a crap, but i just need to let this out somewhere....
Ok so I’ve always done well in just about everything I try. I’ve always had good grades, and been good at sports. I’m a fairly talented musician, I’m good with my hands, I’m usually funny, and am fairly popular. I have a great scholarship to a good college, and I’m apparently all set up to lead a long, successful life. But I’m not necessarily happy about it. Everybody expects me to be the best at everything. People just assume that I’m going to be an engineer, doctor, scientist, or some other big successful profession. And the thing is, I could be any one of those things. I know that if I set my mind to it, I could be successful in just about any field I chose.
But I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’m not sure why, but the fact that I have the world open to me doesn’t make me happy or proud, it depresses me. I feel like I’ve been roped into always having to be the best. And when I do make a mistake, people make a bigger deal out of it. For example, I was always a strait A student. Then last year I got my first B, and this year I already have one B from the first semester. My brother is already getting mostly B’s in his first two years of high school, and yet my parents are more disappointed in me. The fact that I’ve done well so far made it worse when I did “average”.
I feel like all I’ve accomplished is set peoples’ expectations for me extremely high, and I’ll have to spend the rest of my life meeting those expectations. I almost wish I wasn’t “the best” at everything. I feel like I would be happier if I was just mediocre, and could easily meet the low expectations of others. And then I realize how selfish and stupid I sound, wishing I wasn’t as good at everything, and go back to just being depressed. :(

k so thats my stupid rant. :oops: now for the part where you all tell me im a selfish idiot for not being grateful. And you would be totally right. :oops:
Nighthawk - Lvl 130 ranger
Morrigan
no longer playing. Miss you guys.

Re: rant of a depressed person

#3
Well you arnt selfish or anything like that. I can see why you feel that way but I wouldent blame you, I'd blame the jackasses like your parants for being disappointed in you...seems to me if you don't do perfect it's like the dam end of the world. But I wouldent sweat it people are just overreacting and making a big deal outa nothing. We all make mistakes so no one is perfect, If people don't see that and expect you to be the best all the time then there is something wrong with them. Also I would say be whatever you wanna be you don't have to be a doctor or anything like that, just be whatever makes you happy :)
Arawn
Fatderp lvl 92 druid
Mrderp lvl 82+ ranger
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Re: rant of a depressed person

#4
Dude I get sad and depressed when I get a 97 in a class. I know how you feel.
You describe yourself like how I would describe myself. Except I may not be as popular... :|

I don't like to lose in competitions because people would be like, "I thought he was the best. Guess he sucks after all."

NOW GET THAT A BACK!
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Re: rant of a depressed person

#5
I know this is easier said than done, but don't set yourself against other people's expectations. Instead, set your own goals and try to achieve them. What other people think is irrelevant. They're not the ones who are taking the classes, sitting the exams, leading your life - you are. As long as you are happy with what you have achieved, what does it matter about how other people view it?

It can take some time to discover exactly what it is you want to do; it certainly did for me. I used to want to be an archaeologist, an actor, a lawyer, a programmer. It took me a few years to decide what area I wanted to work in, and even now I'm still discovering exactly what I want to do. You just need to try different things and see what you enjoy doing the most. And if that happens to be something that people don't expect, then that's ok.
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Re: rant of a depressed person

#6
I know this is easier said than done, but don't set yourself against other people's expectations. Instead, set your own goals and try to achieve them. What other people think is irrelevant. They're not the ones who are taking the classes, sitting the exams, leading your life - you are. As long as you are happy with what you have achieved, what does it matter about how other people view it?

It can take some time to discover exactly what it is you want to do; it certainly did for me. I used to want to be an archaeologist, an actor, a lawyer, a programmer. It took me a few years to decide what area I wanted to work in, and even now I'm still discovering exactly what I want to do. You just need to try different things and see what you enjoy doing the most. And if that happens to be something that people don't expect, then that's ok.
Community ur so cool :D
How old are u anyways?
Just curious
Vilicrrrrrrrex is back
Level 174 Ranger
Full Dragonlord (No wep still rocking the ancient wyrmbone)

Re: rant of a depressed person

#7
thanks guys. Im not depressed because I got a few B's, I know its not the end of the world. What depresses me is that I have "too many" opportunities open to me. I could easily succeed in pretty much any feild I choose. And when you do great on the SAT's and get great scholarships, everybody expects you to be a PHD. and I could. And I know that should make me proud of my accomplishments, but it just depresses me for some reason. :| It makes no sense to me, so if you understand it, let me know lol.

btw, looking back over these posts, it sounds like i'm bragging. pleeaaase know that Im not trying to brag at all. I'm just trying to explain whats going on in my head. (I'm also kind of explaining it to myself. writing it down helps organize it and it makes more sense.) So im reeeaaally sorry if any of this sounded like bragging; I promise, it wasnt intended that way. :|
Nighthawk - Lvl 130 ranger
Morrigan
no longer playing. Miss you guys.

Re: rant of a depressed person

#8
you always hear about the "genius" kids, or the super popular high school quarterbacks who committed suicide for apparently no reason, and you always assume that there was something else goin on that they were depressed about... I wonder if they were depressed about being "too good" at everything... :|
(i'm not anywhere near thinking of even considering suicide. I'm just thinking out loud here. I have never had a suicidal thought in my life, just so you guys dont start freaking out on me.)
Nighthawk - Lvl 130 ranger
Morrigan
no longer playing. Miss you guys.

Re: rant of a depressed person

#9
If you think there are too many opportunities open, what I suggest doing is sitting down and having a think about what you enjoy doing. Being sucessful (at least, from my point of view) isn't about having the best possible job, but rather being happy in what you do. There is a quote from the philosopher Confucius which I think really applies here: "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." That to me is the measure of success, and it can be applied to study as well as work.

I understand that having so many opportunities can be a bit overwhelming. Sometimes too much of a good thing isn't the best. Is there someone like a careers guide that you can talk to? They can help identify what area(s) you really enjoy, and help you narrow down your choices so that it is a bit less overwhelming.
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