Celtic Heroes

Any more>

Another one for today, well more like alot!

1.I was going to tell a chinese joke, but it's just wong. ( Sorry for racism)
2. COMEBACK: I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
3.Why can't a blonde dial 911 .....
She can't find the 11
4.how can u tell when a blonde is trying to commite suicide? theres 6 bullet holes in the mirror.
5. How do you get a thousand jews in a car? Throw a penny in there.
How do you get them all out? Tell them Hitlers driving. (Sorry for racism)


Last are some funny quotes:
" A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing."
" Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference"
"A recent police study found that you are much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run."

And my 100th post, Special Joke:
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945.
World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945.
What a coincidence.

LOL

I'm Hungary.
Then you should Czech the frirdge.
I'm Russian to the kitchen!
Is there any turkey?
We have some, but it is covered with a layer of greece.
Ew, there is Norway you can eat tha.




Lol

I'm Hungary.
Then you should Czech the frirdge.
I'm Russian to the kitchen!
Is there any turkey?
We have some, but it is covered with a layer of greece.
Ew, there is Norway you can eat tha.


Lol

Lol

Any more?

Well a mother took her son to church and in the middle of church the boy said "Mom I have to pee" and the mother replied "its rude to say pee in church so instead of saying pee say whisper" so the next Sunday the father took the boy to church and in the middle of church the boy said " dad I have to whisper" and the dad replied "go ahead son whisper in my ear"

LOL!!! that one always cracks everyone up

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.

He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out
and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he'd paid attention to the sun and thought he'd figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he'd be back to the small town he'd gotten gas in last.

Cool story, how is this funny though? Lol

Bumpp adding a joke:

A lawyer was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side.
A couple of minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute!" Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful," it was "cute." She asked, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

btw, it may be necroposting but I didnt want to create a new thread, and this one already has lots of jokes on it.

this is kinda VERY VERY racist.....
*Removed*

Mine was removed ._. Lol ._____.

Funny ways to talk about a dumbass
Each line is different

Since my last report, this employee not only hit rock bottom, he's begun tunneling.
His team would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this employee to breed.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.
This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Clients detest this employee on sight.
She brings a lot of joy whenever she leaves the room.
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
Already donated his brain to science.
An employee of two minds: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
If you give her a penny for her thoughts, you'll get change.
Unbelievable that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg.
The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.