Honestly these are normal feelings and IMO the right type of thinking. I can assure you that your intellectual freedom is greater today than ever before even though it may feel like you are being smothered. You need to decide what your beliefs are for yourself and should fight for them if necessary. I just hope you can use facts, logic, science and common sense reasoning to help you form them it's highly likely this mix will provide you the best results.(Please do not hate on me. I use "I" a lot in this writing, please do not confuse this with being self conceited, try to relate to this post. Feedback is appreciated.)
I was raised in an "Old Time Pentecostal" family. I was raised to believe in Christ, and tongues, and impression of the Holy Spirit, and all the things rejected by the world today. These are said to be proof of the Spirit in us.
But growing up in this world, I'm gonna be honest, I am just a scared and confused child. What is happening to us? When did the matters of life start to change my personal beliefs? Was it when I lost my right to fight for my beliefs?
When did Math and Sciences suddenly become a looming cloud in our daily lives? Who needs to know about minuscule actions and things that you cannot even see? Who needs Pythagorean Theorem, when I can whip out a tape measure? And yet these are the matters that consume most of our lives as young people.
When did it become important to learn these things? When did it become who I can be through this or who I need to be rather than who I am? If anyone can explain to me who is ruling my life please tell, because I feel like I am dying inside and there is nothing I can do to fix it. Because if I acted out Id be screwed over. That is what holds me back. I can't do anything because of a risk, because I actually think and care for myself. Is that the world would keep revolving, leaving little old me behind? Is it selfishness or laziness or being scared. I do not even know...
Math and science seem unimportant but on the price is right I see people guess 400 usd for unlimited phone data contracts and a new smartphone when the price is about 2300 usd. Without math skills it's easy to purchase 2300 thinking you are spending 400. When you buy a home or car understanding the finnsncing is extremely important if you want to not be screwed. You won't probably use it a lot but the few times you do it can be really helpful. Not understanding what vaccienes are is a horrible thing. My wife's father is permenantly disabled from polio - we are so disease free with science that many Americans I know forget that the death and crippling diseases deal out is even real.
Using science as a tool to help you decide what to do or to do what you would like is great. Science is understanding the natural world so that you may control it and make its outcome in your own interest instead of blindly stumbling into the future. There is no other tool that even holds a match to science and rationality.
Edit: given what you have said about your upbringing you probably shouldn't be too vocal about your beliefs to your family or church if you feel that they will not be understanding. It's sad but this kind of prejudice is common. If you have any close friends or family that is understanding then take advantage of it. When I was young I did not understand the depths of peoples religious insanity and intolerance and it cost me many hard lessons before I even realized why things were happening. If you are truly on your own there are secular groups of people that can help. Do not give up hope.