Celtic Heroes

I will make no comment to your last reply Sweets....you are most welcome to have the last word. The post that made me think about my conduct is the 'Thicker Skin' one by Aileron. I came back to this game too soon and did not realise I had lost the thickness of skin thing we all acquire with age (cos we have too!). Acts of nastiness, spite, etc by some players (whether towards me or others), have deeply upset me. I think it is actually due to their triviality - as in this is only a game - which has annoyed me so much. It is because of it being set against something else in my life, I now see that. It is in some part about our real lives being fragile enough and certainly too brief (even if we are lucky to live to a long age). In my weakness I wanted the game to be an escape from the pains of life. I wanted it to be a place of no hostility.....which is an absurd expectation on my part. I now accept that hostility is inevitable and whether it is aimed at me or others, and how ever unfairly, I must simply ignore it.

You will all be pleased to know the Zapper rants are at an end. I also apologise to Voldemort and other forum moderators for being such a pain up the bum! It would seem that just like my mage, I am a slow learner.

I hope you arent quitting zap zap, you guys made zap a sad panda

Forgiven. I'm glad you posted this.

Thank you Voldemort, and I am sorry that in my anger at rules that don't seem to make sense to me, I was rude to you. I truly could not understand how you could, 'name and shame' someone who was notorious on game for breaking every rule in the book. That said, I have named and shamed Justecy and though he made completely false claims about me on game, to my knowledge he has never scammed anyone, stopped anyone training by ksing them etc. So I apologise to him too (in as much as I was not out to 'shame' him, but rather confront him).

How ZA leadership chooses to run their clan is their business, I simply felt great frustration and anger, because I know to my core that unless a clan leadership is scrupulously honest, it will never be able to become as strong as Avalon. But I should not have raged about any of them......it is indeed 'only a game'.

On the Avalon front, it meant a lot to get messages from a few Avalon guys saying they know I do truly only take part in some AV bosses for the sheer delight of it all...the colours alone of so many high level players, and the way the classes are so perfectly set out. One player said that unless Aileron tells me to go, my presence is not seen as holding them back.

I would like to assure Behemoth that no one in your clan is giving me times of your boss calls. I have explained about training down at Mordis and seeing you guys there sometimes when Mordis spawns. I no longer train down there (solo training at 190 as a mage is a waste of time and beyond my ability to fund in term of lixs). However I still go down to that area sometimes to farm. I am also in sewers sometimes as I am training my alt down there. As I cannot progress on Zap I decided to start an alt, it also means I don't get any offensive whispers. Naturally if I see a lot of AV appear anywhere I or my alt is, and the direction they are all headed, I then realise what boss must be up. It really is as simple as that Behemoth. Also, you will notice at your bosses, DS doesn't all turn up along with me....I truly just love to take part, there is no ulterior motive. One player has told me I should not forgo that enjoyment simply because for some reason Behemoth loathes me. The stupid part of my brain did not know that if you block a player it will not only block them whispering insults and threats to you but it will stop you seeing when they talk on 'say' because they wish to insult and humiliate you in front of others. So I will block Behemoth and he can get his hatred out for me as much as he wishes and I won't need to hear any of it. Problem solved. I apologise for the length of this reply, but I am trying to make it clear that I have truly had a sea change, and as Aileron advises in his post (though speaking generally), I realise I need to grow back the thicker skin I have lost. So best wishes, and even to those who dislike me intensely, I wish you no harm, simply that you ignore me in game......let me just play the game is all I ask.

Well said zap well said! You need to just get over the bumps in life and keep on truckin' as some would say! I think this apology wasn't necessarily needed but it does show that you have changed your way by stopping rants! If you ever need to take anger out or talk about something whisper/line me. If your really mad, I'll let you kill me in the arena. I'm glad you posted this as well. Although I wasn't involved in the incident, i am happy you showed you can be a big man! Takes a lot to apologize to someone!

Thank you Alchy. If nothing else, 'The Wisdom Of Youth' post I wrote a while back wasn't a mistake. Some of you younger guys continue to amaze me with your maturity and wise words. Don't think I'll take you on in Arena lad....when we did hand to hand you decked me fast. Mind you are young and fit and I am an old chap!

Thank you Alchy. If nothing else, 'The Wisdom Of Youth' post I wrote a while back wasn't a mistake. Some of you younger guys continue to amaze me with your maturity and wise words. Don't think I'll take you on in Arena lad....when we did hand to hand you decked me fast. Mind you are young and fit and I am an old chap!

haha thanks zap! But i think if i didnt use midnight ammy and you used a bit more str you'd take me pretty easy!

I hope you arent quitting zap zap, you guys made zap a sad panda

Isn't he annoying?

No he isnt he never maked me rage you did and i know zapper way longer

Luuky, Reason I could not possibly ever make you rage is cos you are wonderfully eccentric, funny and intelligent Even when you are having what I call a, 'Luuky Mood', I know you will come out of it and you just need some time out. I know sometimes in AdAstra you walked out in a huff at your old chief, but I always loved it when you came back (and knew you would by the way).