My neighbor hates when I wear nothing but my boxers outside.
I don't see what's wrong with that, it's a great hat.
*slaps underwear*
Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot,
were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.
Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves
standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St.
Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that
Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to
limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of
you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot
answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not,
then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most
comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap
of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the
philosopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated
formula ever!" With a snap of his finger,
another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The
mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was
correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his
finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a
chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes
on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat
on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he
asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"
The Devil inspected the seat and said, "Easy! The third hole from
the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it came out of my ***." And
the idiot went to Heaven.
I tripped over a bra the other day.
I guess you could say it was a BOOBY trap.
*slaps knee*
