Celtic Heroes

I'll get us started:

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, an hook, and an eye patch.
The sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept over board into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."
"Wow!" said the sailor. "What about your hook"?
"Well...", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords when one of the enemy cut my hand off."
"Incredible!" remarked the sailor. "How did you get the eye patch"?
"A seagull dropping fell into my eye.", replied the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked incredulously.
"Well...", said the pirate, "..it was also my first day with the hook."

A guy in glasses walks in to a bar, waves at the bartender and immediately sits down in front of a group of tough looking bikers. He looks to the one he believes to be the leader of the gang and issues a challenge, "I bet you 500 dollars and your bike, that I can chug 4 beers in less than a minuet and fly out that 2nd story window!"
Knowing this was impossible, the biker leader accepted.
So, sure enough, 4 beers, 54 seconds later, the guy was hanging in mid-air outside of the window.
Flying back in, he collected his winnings and said, "To be fair, I'll give you a chance to win it back if you can do the same thing."
Eager to get his money and motorcycle back, he agreed. 4 beers down in 50 seconds, he jumps out the window and falls only to break his leg.
The other biker members are about ready to hurt this dude in glasses when he issues one more challenge. "I'll triple the money if any one of you can at least land safely."
2 more of the biker gang agree and also fall and receive broken bones.
It was at this point that the bartender came up and said, "Superman, you really need to find a better way to pay your bar tab."